|added Sat January 31 2004 at 11:36 PM
|I stepped out her back door and the couple standing at the bottom of the stairway suddenly seperated. I had no reason to care if they were making out, but apparently they were worried I did.
As I crossed the bridge, a pair of couples joyfully walked the other way, laughing and talking about something interesting. A seperate couple walked slowly by, arm in arm, talking much more quietly. The third couple of the original pair (apparently a trio) was hurrying to catch up. They probably were enjoying the moment together by the looks of it.
That's five couples in a row. Welcome to BYU. But not me. I was alone.
I was glad to go over to Merry's, mostly because it got me out of the house. No offense, Merry, but I'd wanted to spend time with Megan. I'm a couple steps away from giving up any hope of anything coming of that, though. I got her a rose tonite while I was at the grocery store. I'm just afraid that while I'm trying to be the suave, romantic guy, I'm really coming off as the creepy stalker guy.
Where is that line drawn? That's what bothers me more than any other single thing with girls. One guy does something and he's the hero, another guy does the same thing and he's the worst guy on the face of the planet. Most girls are too polite to tell you if you're the second, and they complain that there's not enough of the first. If I knew that Megan wasn't a bit interested in me, I'd back off immediately. The problem is that when I do see her, and she sees me, there's a spark in her eyes, a lift in her voice, and I am genuinely convinced that she actually cares. But what if she's a good actor?
I'd ask for a sign, but I'm sure it's not going to happen. So, I'll just have to keep trying until I either fall for a new girl, or I win her over and hold her in my arms. Or until she makes it painfully clear that she hates my guts. Will I ever know which guy I am?