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    Down the Drain  echo $newRAM;
    added Sun September 21 2003 at 3:03 AM
    OK, I like this job catering at the football games. If it paid more, I'd probably take it on as my only job. It's got some pretty sweet perks. First of all, it's a cake job. Because it's BYU, they hire about 50% more people than they actually need working. OK, maybe that's not entirely true. When it's busy, you need everybody you have there, but you really don't need that many people when it's not busy.

    Second, they feed you. Policy is that you're supposed to get a meal every time you work with catering. And BYU catering has some *good* food. Reality is that when they're throwing out the old brownies and cake that's already been cut (and so can't be served at a future banquet), it's up for grabs. A lot of food gets thrown out, so there's a lot of food up for grabs (more on that in a minute).

    Third, the guy-girl ratio is, well, wow. There's like 4 girls for every guy. Granted, not all the girls are cute, but there's enough girls that even if only half of them are cute, then you're still looking at a two to one ratio. I know... I'm a typical guy, but yeah. I'm a typical guy. I really had a blast today cleaning the dishes with the ladies. There's a tip for you mom... if you want me to be more willing to clean the dishes, just bring over a couple cute girls to help out. I did not succeed at getting a date (I'm really not good at that)... not for lack of trying. I just kinda messed up on the invite. I didn't think about the fact that nobody would want to go for ice cream after they've had their fill on free food (refer to the second reason above). Should've gone with the movie...

    It's funny that the worst part of the job is throwing away the food. Yeah, sure, it looks kinda gross tossing entire pans of refried beans into a giant garbage disposal, but that's not what gets me. It's the sheer waste of it all that really gets to me. I spent 15-30 minutes methodically tossing out 20-30 pans of *salmon*. All perfectly good food... the only problem is that it won't keep long enough to serve again. So down the drain it goes.

    Hold on, now... why didn't I eat it, you ask. Well, first of all, I did. I'd grab a handful, take a bite, and throw the rest down the tube. It was goooood food. My few bites didn't even come close to mitigating the wastefulness of the process in general, though. Then why didn't I take some home? There again, I did. I brought home a bag of rolls and a bunch of brownies. But I couldn't bring home any meat for a few reasons... first of all, I didn't have any way of bringing it out. I couldn't carry it around with me during work. I grabbed the brownies on my way out. I threw out all that beautiful, succulent fish over an hour before I went home. On top of that, I felt like a little kid at the humane society. If there was any one of those cute animals that were desperate for a home, I'm sure I'd try to figure out some way to bring it home. The huge number of animals just makes it so overwhelming... so I don't even think about it. The extreme volume of food was so overwhelming. I couldn't take home 20 fillets of salmon and a pot of beans and a side of beef. So I didn't even think about it. I just made sure I got my fill.

    As I tossed the food, I knew that I was throwing away more food than I could eat in a couple months. This sad truth was compounded with the knowledge that I'm feeling rather broke, and would never even dream of buying myself salmon. But I had no alternative. It truly was a tragic moment... Watching the food go down the drain.