|added Thu September 18 2003 at 2:09 AM
|I've told plenty of stories about me taking long walks and talking with this or that girl... Girls are good to talk to when you've got something on your mind, often because they are generally so caught up about their own troubles so it distracts you during that conversation. Even when they aren't doing the talking, you can just be more open about things... straight, to the point, no beating around the bush. By the time you're close enough to a girl to have conversations that carry on for hours, they've told you so many things that you telling them one or two of your troubles doesn't hurt anything. Plus, girls are cute and so they're fun to be close to.
But what about when two guys talk? First of all, guys aren't as likely to have serious conversations about their own life. Politics, opinions, the world around us, sure... but nothing that could be seen as personal. Of course, I speak only from my own personal experience. Perhaps somewhere there are two guys walking down a street late at night telling each other about the problems that trouble them most. Of course, they're probably walking down a street somewhere in San Fran. It's not that there is a lack of trust or any such thing... we simply don't communicate in that way.
First of all, guys always have to be doing something if there's any potential possibility of a serious conversation. Occassionally, you can get a group of guys sitting around late at night talking about more serious, personal issues, but this is generally the exception to the norm. Instead, there will be a video game... or a sports program on TV... or a game of basketball... or rollerblading. Anything to provide an excuse not to talk if there's nothing to say, without feeling awkward about the silence.
Second, the topic of conversation rarely stays on the personal troubles for the entire conversation. In fact, the personal troubles are only talked about for a mere fraction of the time. If a couple of girls were to listen in on the conversation, then they would be pretty upset to find the guys talking for 20 minutes about how their favorite sports figures are stacking up against each other. Or the fine art of video game techniques. Or whatever activity they are currently engaged in.
Third, when a personal issue is adressed, it is done to convey information, compare to similar problems, or to find a solution. We don't take 30 minutes investigating every possible interpretation unless these interpretations are necessary for a solution. Omce a solution is presented and the merits thereof have been adequately analyzed, either the solution is adopted and the conversation changes to other topics, or a new solution is presented. The less time talking about personal matters, the better.
Now, this isn't to say that guys don't tell each other personal feelings or anything like that... We just don't do so more than is necessary. It isn't something to do just to pass the time, it is something to do when an important message needs to be conveyed. The exception is when you have a large group of guys living together in a dorm situation. Then, you will offten have congregations of guys all sitting around talking about life and the implications thereof. This exception is made possible because there's always someone else to talk and fill in the silence if need be.
If you want to complain about your troubles and get sympathy, find a girl to listen to your problems. If you simply need to get it off your chest and not worry about too many people finding out about it, or if you need a list of possible solutions... keep it between two guys.
|added Thu September 18 2003 at 2:15 AM
|if you are searching for something in RandOMnesS or JPsDocs, do not use quotation marks. If you're searching for 'Jo-Pete', type 'Jo-Pete', (without the apostrophes) *not* '"Jo-Pete"'. I think this is the only entry that will show up if you search for "Jo-Pete". If, however, you search for Jo-Pete, several entries will show up (Jo-Pete has this weird habit of referring to himself in third person). For example, the search in question returned zero results, because I do not put people's names in quotation marks. It returned zero results each of the three times the search was made. If you remove the quotations, however, this simple name returns over twenty results... so, long story short, don't use quotation marks if you want to search the site.