|added Mon February 17 2003 at 10:34 PM
|She glared at me, and I laughed. I don't know if I laughed because the reason for her being mad was so funny, or because she was so cute when she glared. But she glared, and I laughed. Of course, that didn't help anything, because my laughter took the tone of mockery, and her glare looked more insidious (and therefore more adorable). After some time the glare broke, and the laughter subsided, and we talked some more.
Sometimes, I wish that I knew one way or the other if a certain person really wanted me around. When we're talking, we can talk about anything and everything. We don't agree on half the subjects, but that's realistic life for you. But then in sudden bursts of emotion, she disavows me and says that she wants nothing to do with me. I can understand if this is just her way of dealing with people. Sometimes I don't want anybody around, feel like being alone, so on and so forth, yadda yadda yadda...
But does she want me around, is the bottom line? Cause I think that she's a great person... and I honestly do like being around her. She's sarcastic and bitter and cruel, and I love every bit of it. Of course, I exaggerate. Bitter and cruel aren't really the right words, more like cynical and blunt. It's rather refreshing around here... too often the girls here go around being sugar-sweet, even if they hate you, and then you stop and wonder if they really do like you, or if they're just being nice. Why does it have to be one extreme or the other? Why does a girl have to either be mad at everybody or be sappy sweet with everybody? I'd like to find a girl who is honest and open with her feelings, but is willing to let you know that she wants you around... and if I like her at all, I'll stay around...
P.S.- you wonder why I'm so open about this... "is she going to read this and know it's her?"... two responses... I don't think she'll read it. If she does read it, then I'm not scared, because I haven't declared any undying affection, and she already knows she's great...