|added Fri April 25 2003 at 12:06 PM
|I go away now, and don't know when I will return. Weeks; Months; Years from now, but it will never be here anymore. Because here isn't a location, it's a life. And life isn't a singular event, but rather a combination of everybody around you, twisting and weaving a grand scene of memory. And it's over now. Life ends, a new one will begin.
Phone rang, and I answered. a cheery voice exclaims a salutation to me. Smile, welcome greetings in return. She wanted to see me. Because she's leaving. She wanted to say good-bye. I told her she should come over to my place after she was finished checking out, and so some time later, she came knocking on the door. I gave her what was left of my stash I kept for her. We took a picture together. And she said her mom was waiting to go. We told each other to come visit, should the opportunity arise. But I very well may have just said good bye, forever.
I didn't tell her yet what I really wanted to say. How could I possibly outline how she was possibly- probably- the best friend I have in this life. Not that she and I were inseparable, or we spent endless days with each other. We'd go for a week without seeing each other, and neither of us would even notice hardly. But when I was with her, I didn't have to worry about which me I would present. I could be whatever me I happened to be in the mood for. Sure, I brought her little gifts. If a fifty cent soda can bring someone so much happiness, why not make them happy?
I think it's easiest to be the first one to leave. Because then you just say good-bye to everybody, and you look forward to the next life. But to watch everybody else exit before you... and have to relive the parting so many times...
Good-bye, my friend. Good-bye my friends. Good-bye, my life. I go away now.